Reality.

The reality is that training for an Ironman is not easy.

I didn’t commit to this thinking it would be, but reality is that this training is brutal. 19 weeks left to go. Starting to wonder if I’ll be ready…

Usually I LOVE to ride our long team rides on Saturday, the last few times, not so much. Between the heat, the soreness and more heat, I haven’t felt the love for training in awhile.

These must be the dark days when you start to question if this is worth it. When questions like “can I do this” or “can I keep this up” start to creep into your head.

I’m looking for the next fix. The next string of moments that give you just enough to keep going, enough to keep you wanting more. More laps, more pedal strokes, more distance. I can handle the miles and I can handle the time commitment. Give me the mental bump I need to be mentally engaged every moment of training. These last few weeks I’ve been on auto-pilot, not “feeling” anything except the physical pain. A little surprising how you can detach yourself in this manner. Being there without being there. Weird indeed. And I feel like many people go through life this way.

The plane ticket to PHX for IM AZ has been booked. I’ve turned in the 2nd round of re-commitment paperwork for LLS/TNT. From purely a logistical standpoint, I am on-track and ready to go to. But if I don’t clear this mental hurdle, I’m never going to make it.

We begin another recovery week, slightly shorter workouts, hopefully a chance to recharge mentally as well…

*Update – Don’t get me wrong, I am VERY clear on WHY I have undertaken this…I just need to find that “oomph” again and not move through the process mindlessly. Any tips on how to enjoy this stupidly hot/humid summer while riding and running are appreciated.